Have you ever had people say some version of this to you? “Wow, you’re really good at ‘so and so’” or “You ought to do ‘such and such’ with that!”
In your attempts to act humbly, you try to downplay it. Maybe you say something along the lines of “Oh, that’s nothing. I can do it in my sleep.”
Seriously, I think you know what I mean…
And that’s unfortunate, because you know what? The “nothing” you can do in your sleep is probably one of the greatest gifts you could ever share with others.
It’s just that you tend to take that gift for granted. So you mistakenly assume that each of the other 7 billion people on the planet has the same skills and gifts you have, too.
And you’d be totally wrong.
You see, like it or not, most of us are so self-centered that we assume the rest of the world perceives things like we do. We presume that others should think, see, hear, and act like we do.
One of the many undesirable consequences of this way of thinking is that we tend to shield our brilliance from the world, because we think everyone else shares that same brilliance. And instead, we tend focus on the things at which we think we’re not so good.
I know it sounds kind of bizarre. You may not agree with me, but I think it’s also selfish.
To be straight about it, I’m afraid that I have been totally wrong. You see, there’s something REALLY IMPORTANT AND VALUABLE that I’ve been hesitant to showcase. Not that I don’t see value in it; it’s just that I never really saw it as a big deal. And I didn’t want it to be taken and used in wrong ways.
Let me put it this way…
If five people tell you that you’re a horse thief (and these are people whom you respect and trust), then there’s only one thing to do: Buy a saddle.
In my own life, there have been countless people (definitely more than five) who have recently been “ganging up” and “harassing” me to share the “things I can do in my sleep.” In essence, they’re rooting for me to share my greatest gifts with the world.
So you might say, after a great deal of resistance, I’ve just bought a “saddle” and that means really big changes in my business. And that means really big things are in store for YOU (if you’re ready and willing to go for a ride)!
But to get “seated” in this saddle and go on this ride, I’m going to need your advice and input. And I’m hoping you’ll ride along with me. Because from what I can tell, it’s going to be a really wild ride! But more on that next time. (I need to take some time to collect my thoughts).
To freedom, contribution, and prosperity,
George
P.S. I’ll be back with more details in a couple more days. But until then, think seriously about the skills, gifts, talents, and wisdom you might be holding back on, simply because you think it’s “nothing” and no one else cares about it.
If you’re willing, please share it with us in the comments, so I don’t feel like I’m the only one here who does this kind of nonsense!
I find it fascinating that you often write/blog/post about what has been on my mind. Then I get an email like this and I have to respond. I would be interested in hearing more. Thanks!
Carla,
I believe the “coincidences” are not accidental convergences on the same physical point, thought, or idea. I believe coincidences to be a convergence of energy. Now the thing to be aware of is that such convergence can be either constructive or destructive!
But I think in our case, it’s definitely a CONSTRUCTIVE convergence!
I have a strong suspicion that what I’v been brewing over here will help you to expand the context of how you can share your gifts, talents, and passion with others.
Geoge
Looking forward to hearing more about this….
Susan,
What I have to say about this topic applies not just to business, but also to one’s greater self-expression, including one’s musical voice (as you and I have often spoken about!).
Stay tuned!
George
George – this is EXACTLY what I’ve been noodling on this week too. I take my own gifts for granted, and my clients often do too. In fact, one of the most useful things I can give my clients is a way to clearly and confidently claim their gifts and talents, their “super powers,” if you will. Interested to hear more about what’s up your sleeve, and how you’ll walk your talk!
Jill,
I suspect that we’re not alone. It seems that this has been on lots of peoples’ minds; we just don’t like to admit it!
It’s a freeing experience to acknowledge one’s gifts and talents — not for the pleasure of the ego — but to direct it in service of others.
More yet to come (I borrowed that phrase from my spiritual voice teacher, Susan, who says that frequently to me and also happened to comment here. 🙂
For me, George, the challenge has often been around “but will people actually PAY for that?” Even though the answer is “yes” (really it is) the tricky pieces are:
1. Believing this is so 100%; not just intellectually
2. Finding ways to craft a message and offers so that the value of our gifts are obvious to those in the marketplace who need our gifts.
I know for me all kinds of blocks and limiting beliefs spring up and show me that I have inner-work AND outer-word to do.
BTW I like Jill’s “Super Powers” idea a lot because provides some lightness and an element of fun that makes this idea more accessible. I know I can get kind of intense and heavy on the topic.
Judy – I can so relate to numbers 1 and 2! The limiting beliefs, and then the skills involved in crafting messages and “productizing” my gifts so people can understand how I can help them.
When I get to doubting my gifts, I try to remember that they’re not really “mine.” I’m stewarding them to be used in service of others, like George said. Gives me more of a sense of responsibility, and more lightness.
Judy, at first, I wasn’t sure if people would pay me for coaching them. I just had to keep up my belief and faith for long enough to get my first client. Then my confidence started skyrocketing from there.
Another observation I’ve made, is that it’s my ego that says things like “people won’t pay” or “my services or my perspective aren’t valuable.”
The thing is, many of us attempt to tame our egos by downplaying what we have to offer. But that’s not being truthful is it?
So if we want to really be fair and straight, it’s imperative to acknowledge whatever gifts, talents, and abilities we have.
Absolutely agree that we sometimes can’t see how unusual our talents are and so take them for granted. For years I didn’t think I had a marketable skill but after helping a few people on specific projects I realised that my ability to write is not commonplace so was able to start my business to sell those services.
As Judy pointed out, it is not just understanding that you have a skill but to also believe it is a skill and valuable – for example, just because I can write an article in 20 minutes doesn’t mean it has no value as many people can’t do the same thing in 3 hours; it takes belief to see the value in something that comes easily.
I try to share my knowledge as well as use it for others – seeing how others need my services is a good way to renew my faith in my skills.
It’s an on-going practice to remain open to hearing others acknowledge us for the inherent value we bring to them. (And without letting our egos expand so large we can’t get our heads through the door!)
This isn’t something that is typically taught in school or otherwise, is it?
George:
I think this is exactly what the doctor ordered (no pun intended). My practice and I indeed need some reminding that in the entire history of this marvelous little planet, each of our talents, skills, abilities and desires are unique. Looking forward to hearing more about this and working with you in the future and now that I am out from under that rock, what a bright future that is. Time to go buy some sunglasses….
This is the quintessential human dilemma. Something is SO easy and natural for us it feels like breathing. Because it IS so easy and natural for us we can’t believe that others don’t find it so also. We can’t believe that others would actually PAY us to breathe. Our disbelief in the unique value is in direct proportion to the ease of doing whatever it is.
After supporting friends with our gift of breath and getting so much gratitude and seeing the difference our ‘easy peasy breathing’ made for someone, it begins to dawn on us that maybe this isn’t natural or easy for others. But inevitably we still struggle with the hurdle of charging someone for what comes as easily and naturally as breathing to us. Finally we take the plunge and charge a way too low rate and lo and behold THEY PAY! Shock!
After the shock wears off we finally accept that the thing that is so easy and natural for us we can do it our sleep is a MAJOR contribution to others and we step out (with lingering disbelief) and offer it for sale in the marketplace.
It IS the biggest Cosmic joke that our biggest gift is disguised as the one or two things that are so easy and natural us we could never conceive of it not being the case for others. What a brilliant place to hide our most valuable gifts!
Amy,
I think it’s easy to also overlook what comes easy as not being valuable to others when there isn’t immediate positive feedback from others. But it just may be the “others” that one seeks acceptance and recognition from aren’t the people who are ready for what is being offered.
What you wrote here is so common: “Our disbelief in the unique value is in direct proportion to the ease of doing whatever it is.”
The ego is a double-edged sword, neither side of which works all that well…on the one edge, the ego wants to be recognized and acknowledged. And when that doesn’t happen to the degree expected, one goes into “hiding” and self-preservation mode. On the other edge, the ego compares itself to others, and promotes self-flagellation when one doesn’t match up to “expectations.”
I think the ultimate solution is in seeking freedom from being driven by one’s ego.